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SEPTEMBER 2010

Change (Oh, No!!!)

I am sitting in the dining room at the San Patricio Retreat Center thinking about change. It is a beautiful clear day in the late summer. The Rufus Hummingbirds and the Monarch Butterflies are beginning to pass through on their way to Central America and Mexico respectively and the ripe peaches are beginning to fall from the overburdened trees; excellent news because Linda has been diligently working to perfect her cobbler recipe. These first messengers of autumn are in the air with the promise of colorful days and cooler nights in the Hondo Valley as days become shorter, until we reach the grace and majesty of the Advent season and the mystery of the coming of our Lord.

A day like today might not be the best time to ponder why change is so frightening and difficult for human beings. It would be so easy to become judgmental and smug, and say something like, "See how gracefully nature changes? Don't you know how important you are to God our Father? Why don't you just get over it?"

Maybe a better day to write about change would be when the roof is leaking and the car won't start. The electricity has gone off (again) and maybe the dog has disappeared down the arroyo. For some people, if that was all that was wrong it would be considered a good day. Sometimes the prospect of change is the prospect of death. Literally.

Jesus taught us about both situations. Whenever we are able, we should look around us and see God's plan unfolding day by day in every aspect of His creation. Take regular retreats to places where the Mystery of His presence is easier to feel. Attend Mass often, and try to spend a part of each day out in nature, where the cycles of natural change can be so comforting. We are only here for a little while. Knowing this, I try to waste as little time as possible acting crazy.

When times are tough, however, it may be all we can do to just keep going. Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross taught us about the normal challenges that accompany death and dying. Please understand, though, that any change involving a significant loss or major realignment of our lives can cause the same psychological reaction. Any or all of these may occur:

• Denial: (This isn't happening!!)
• Anger: (I'm really mad about this and everybody is going to know it. It's not fair!!)
• Bargaining: (Lord, if you fix this I promise to be good from now on!!)
• Depression: (Well, my life is ruined forever.)

Finally acceptance comes. The great model for this was given to us by Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Knowing He would soon die, Jesus prayed to The Father that He would not have to go through with the changes that lay ahead. His prayer was intense. The Bible tells us that Jesus shed great drops of sweat, "like blood", while he prayed until He came to that graceful place of acceptance and said, "Not my will but Thy will be done".

Our own process of acceptance can be accelerated if we go to our own Gethsemane and fight it out with God in prayer.

So today I am thinking that the seasonal changes are pretty wonderful. By tonight I might be stuck on my knees in tears. Either way, God's plan is unfolding moment by moment. I can never say that the way things are today will be the same in the future. I can remind myself that God has everything in hand. I wonder if that cobbler is ready.